They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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