i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I want a musical about memes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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