i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
