And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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