His pubic hair was longer than his dick
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize