My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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