Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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