Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
