He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
