there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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