Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
