the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
we should paint friendship bongs
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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