Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Shame - the story of my life.
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