dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
