A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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