is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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