There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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