I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
