butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
