Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
