pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
