i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
