is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
