Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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