We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize