belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
