girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
