So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
