My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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