Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
