i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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