i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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