Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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