Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
