I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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