Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
