Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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