I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
