He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
