Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
