they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
