You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just found puke in my bra..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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