You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I need moral support for this bender
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
