so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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