Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Please don't give away my fajitas
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