I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
