were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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