her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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