After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
