Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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