You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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