I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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