Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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