you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
