roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The air was thick with penises
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
