Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
