note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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