Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
