im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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