I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
