am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
