Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
