i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
